No-one expects you to get it right all the time, working out what you want from life can take some time so try to give yourself a break. It’s good to aim high and have great expectations for the future but be careful not to be a perfectionist about life, we all need to make mistakes to learn. (Some mistakes however are easily avoided if you plan in advance; like always having condoms around!)

Having realistic goals about some aspects of life will be more useful to you in the long run. For example if you expect your relationships to be all hearts and flowers and your sex life to be like a porn extravaganza you risk disappointment! Instead if you recognise that there will be some hurdles and that it can take time to get know what you and your partner want, sexually and otherwise, you will generally feel more comfortable and therefore more confident.

Fake it!

One of the easiest confidence tricks is to fake it. Even the most self assured person has butterflies at times, their trick is not to show them! Acting confidently makes others around you respond positively and so you start to feel more confident in yourself. Having someone or something familiar around can also help, like taking a friend when you go somewhere new or getting to know someone-else in the same position. You’ll be amazed what a bit of acting can do (and how many people round about you are doing the exact same thing!).

One step at a time

If shyness is a big issue for you, you might want to talk to someone who can take you through some exercises to improve things. Alternatively there are lots of books available to help with feeling more confident you can get these from your local library, or you can buy them on the high street or online!

There is a scheme on the BBC website designed with interactive quizzes and exercises to help improve confidence.

And finally

Being good to yourself goes a long way! Little rituals built into your day can really help to boost your confidence.

• Your favourite music sung along to at top volume.
• Telling yourself something positive everyday
• Having a laugh with friends or family
• Accomplishing goals no matter how little

Think of some for yourself and start your confidence building! If you’re stuck for ideas speak to someone who can help either at Choices' or at ChildLine who can be contacted on 08000 1111.