It might take a bit of courage to speak up to start with, but remember that you can’t get pregnant or catch an STI from talking.  Also, chances are, that if you are feeling a bit nervous, your partner probably is too, so talking it through can clear the air.

There are some obvious & practical things to talk about such as Condoms and Contraception – if both of you take responsibility and get them sorted out first you won’t have those worrying moments during or after sex.  Just remember that only condoms prevent sexually transmitted infections.

Telling each other what you like and where, whether you want more or want to stop makes the whole experience more pleasurable.  After all you are the person who knows your body best, and it’s up to you to say stop if you find something unpleasant or uncomfortable.  There are no right or wrong answers, what turns one person on, may be a complete turn off for someone else. For more information about girls click here and for more information about boys click here.

However, sex should never be about pressuring someone – you should not feel pressure to do anything you don’t want to do and you have the right to say no.  Any person who does not listen to you, or continues to pressure you isn’t worth being with.

Sex can be sexual intercourse, oral sex, anal sex, deep kissing, masturbation...  It should be about doing what you and your partner want together, it’s certainly not a list with boxes beside each one that need to be ticked off.  Some people prefer one kind of sex over another and only do it that way, others like to have sex several different ways – they’re both perfectly okay.

Also, if you are more comfortable with doing one thing but not another, talk to your partner about it, you are always allowed to say no and as we said before sex is about mutual pleasure and satisfaction however you do it!